Stuck in the middle..

I have a nasty habit of getting stuck in the middle. I always find myself in situations where I'm in the middle of trying to keep two people happy.

Maybe I'm a pushover, maybe i need to grow a back bone and tell people to sort out their own bullshit but I'm so tired of always trying to please everyone.

I don't know how to be that person though. I don't know how to stick up for myself and i never have. Is this a skill i was meant to developed at some point in my life and missed? Where do i go to get some balls?

I can tell myself i don't care until the cows come home but it won't make it true. I do care, I care way too much. Probably about people who don't deserve it, and probably about situations that don't matter but its ingrained so deeply into who i am i can't change it.

Time after time i get stuck between two people trying to make both parties happy. 

What about my happiness? Who's there worrying about my happiness? I don't know. I'm not saying no one cares because i know that they do but why am i always given the title of peace keeper? 

Trying to keep someone happy who is in my life regardless of any situation that arises and trying to keep the person i want to spend my life with happy.. 

Am i missing something? Is it them that should be more understanding or am i just not trying hard enough?

I don't know but this is my ramble for today anyway.

Pondering Life..

In 2017 i will be turning 26, now i know in reality its not old and that I'm still very young and have my whole life ahead of me but to me it feels old. I'm not ready to be 26 and if I'm being honest I'm not where i thought i would be at 26.

I'm a mum of two amazing kids, i have a wonderful partner who I'm incredibly thankful for. I have a job that i enjoy and as of next month i will also be a Uni student. i have a great life and I'm not complaining about it at all, I'm blessed for all the things i have.

But i know i can't be the only one who looks at their life and feels like i should have accomplished more, or maybe that there is more i should be doing. 

I guess I'm writing this post so that in a few months when i have a million things going on i can look back and laugh at myself for being such a goose. Because life is about to get a lot busier for me, not only do i have all the things mentioned above going on but my oldest child is about to start school for the first time *cries* and we have a big life change also happening in April.

Not being where i thought i would be at 26 isn't necessarily a bad thing though is it? Who really knows where life is going to take us? In 2016 my life completely did a 180 and i had to learn to be a different person from the person i had spent most of my life being.

I think that life has a funny way of knowing what we need even if it seems hard or horrible or perfect at the time it gives us what we need to be the person we are and who we will become.

I'm going to end this incredibly cliche post about life by saying to my future self when i read this back:

Your incredibly lucky and every challenge you have faced until this point you have made it through.You are doing a good job, stop comparing yourself to other people.

Just Do YOU

Top 5 places on my travel list

I love to travel, I’ve done quite a lot of it in my 23 years of life. My parents started travelling with us as soon as we were old enough to remember it and that's where my love of travel begun, and i just never stopped. Ive been to every state in Australia and have experienced a lot of what our beautiful country has to offer. Ive also been to Indonesia and New Zealand.

But here is the top 5 places on my travel list.

USA

I can’t even begin to name all the places i want to go in America, it has been my dream basically since i knew about this country to go there. When i was younger i always told everyone ‘one day i will stand in time square one day’. So of course New York is high on my list, but i want to go everywhere. Ideally i would take a few months and see as much as i can. Its really an amazing country and i WILL get there one day.

France

How could i not want to go to this beautiful place. I have a fascination with the eiffle tower, i think its beautiful and i would love to go to Paris and see it for myself.

India

I love Indian culture, especially the food! It would be amazing to see this country.

Japan

  

To be honest i don’t know a whole lot about this country but that makes me want to go there even more. It seems like a very fast paced country and id love to experience that.

Turkey

My husbands dad was born in Turkey and he still has family that live there. Neither of us have been there and would love to make the trip to learn about his heritage and meet the rest of his family (we have met some when they came to Australia).

Music of the moment #1

Sam smith

I love basically every song on his album In the lonely hour, his voice is just like heaven to me.

To name a few of my favourite songs though:

Like i can

Latch (acoustic)

Life support 

Leave your lover

A day to remember

This band have been my favourite for about 5 years now. I absolutely love every single one of their songs and i really can never get sick of them. They are guaranteed to always improve my mood.

My favourite album is definitely Homesick but you can’t go wrong with any of their albums.

Coldplay

Coldplay are another old favourite that just can’t do wrong for me.

A few of my favourites are:

Fix you

Viva la vida

Paradise

Magic

Those are my top 3 of the moment, but theres plenty more where that came from.

What are your favourites?

Currently playing- Animal Crossing New Leaf

Animal crossing new leaf.

So in this game you are Mayor of your own town, and basically your goal is to create a nice town to live in.

The game runs on real time so at different stages of the day there are different things to do and you have little tasks you need to do. Every day there are new things in the stores and new things to find.

You can also visit your friends towns if you have a friend with the game and they can visit you.

I have found this game super addictive. I was worried the real time thing would bug me but i have actually found it fun. The shops don’t open until a certain time and residents tend to sleep in later than me so i spend the morning exploring and discovering.

Its a fun light hearted game that doesn't take much thought and i find its enjoyable in the mornings when caffeine hasn't kicked in yet.

Book haul

Thrift shop

Shindlers list- Thomas Kelly

Little Women-Louisa May Alcott

My story-Dave Pelzer

A thousand splendid suns- Khaled Hosseini

And the mountains echoed-Khaled Hosseini

Star wars rogue planet- Greg Bear

Big W

Jane Eyre-Charlotte Bronte

100 best Gluten free foods

Top 5 trilogies

1.Star wars

The original star wars trilogy will always have number one place in my heart

2.Lord of the rings

The fact that I’ve been to New Zealand and visited hobbiton makes this trilogy just that little it more special

3.Back to the future

These movies remind of when i was younger and are very nostalgic for me

4.Spiderman

The Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst spiderman will always be my favourite

5.Toy story

Who didn’t love these movies?